Behind the song "Revisions"
Photo by Heather Saitz
The song “Revisions” is about experiencing gaslighting. Parts of the song describe the innate beauty observable in a person, while others allude to their darkness, mutability, and ability to manipulate. As a listener, it is easy to catch red flags from outside in quiet creepy sections, “You wanted to keep the control, you said you loved me, said we were chasing the gold, but your eyes, they stayed shaded”. It is clear though, a self-questioning persists, alongside a desire to uncover where things went wrong, to understand pivotal moments of change, or revise the past to capture it’s meaning. The answers however, are in the hands of the gaslighter, and we witness a tragic self-doubt leading to insanity “I fold over revision, revision, revision, revision… and in each version I ask what could have been”...
“Revisions” was featured on CBC’s Saturday Night Jazz; likened to songs by Radiohead or Massive Attack. As a creator I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight some of my favourite collaborative happenings which took place in the creation of “Revisions”. The first involved musical contributions from Chris Dadge, who amped up the creepiness of the quiet sections with eerie percussive textures. As well, Graham Lessard delivered on Brock Geiger’s vision to enter the track on vibes. When this song landed in Pam Tzeng’s choreographic hands, she embodied all the feels, somehow combining confusion, tragedy, evil, despair, and insanity. This was matched by the editing stylings of Landon Johnson who leaned into a “Suspiria” like colour palette, then timed and layered takes to build a narrative journey. I am so lucky that my co-creators bring joy to the darkest subject matters, helping me move towards positive resolution.
Revisions
Changed like a reptile in the shifting light
Tongue unravelling new illusions
Were these true colours, or was I deceived
Did they just pop, against your new backdrop
I fold over revision ...
And in each version I ask what could have been
You wanted to keep the control
You said you loved me
Said we were chasing the gold
But your eyes, they stayed shaded
To go back to the pause
In the quiet snow
I remember what your love was
Soft in the cold
A broken smile
Gentle hands
You were just a man
You wanted to keep the control
You said you loved me
Said we were chasing the gold
But your eyes, they stayed shaded
I fold over revision ...
And in each version I ask what could have been