Behind the song “Stars Still Dying”
Surprisingly starry pic by Heather Saitz
The summer my father died, the sky outside turned to a red dome layered by a hazy gray ash blown in from forest fires, and although so many other challenging times lurked in future timelines, in that moment it felt as though the world was ending.
One question I pondered was “How long do you stay to honour a dream?”
Life is strange in this way. We don't enter, leave, or cycle on the same timeline as our loved ones. We are also tremendously lucky if we leave life with all of its external forces aligning so that we can obtain a personal sense of completion. I wondered how my father felt about what he was leaving behind, and if he had been able to accomplish what his heart desired.
In the hospital a transition between us happened. We connected less and less in the physical, and we bound together within layers unseen. It is in that lush deep green garden where we combine energy, sometimes revisiting old memories and sometimes the new. When I return from this shared dream space it is as though a veil of smoke has been lifted. There is a shift in the quality of air, and it reminds me of the incense I burned for him that night by the river, while the sky grew dark, helping the stars to shine.
“Stars Still Dying” is a love song for my father, exalting simultaneously the depth of joy shared, the potential of love, and the recognition of what loss leaves behind.
Stars Still Dying
The first breath is arresting
We don’t all come full circle at the turn of time
This chalice has a poisoned rim
We sink, cognizant and comfortable
Knowing that there is no win
And the man who’s a boy can protect the impregnable
Still we all lose some days
That’s just the way
It was as far as we had dreamed
The garden grew deep, the incense rising
Lifted as heat to stars still dying
Gone just like magic by the morning
We couldn’t pull back the glass
So we stood watching
Our eyes projecting the past
Lenses of love, of longing
To be aware is to tread with care
Resting in the pain you’re living
It was as far as we had dreamed
The garden grew deep, the incense rising
Lifted as heat to stars still dying
Gone just like magic by the morning
How long do you stay, to honour a dream
to honour a dream
* these are the longform lyrics, matching the full length track on the album